Monday, April 10, 2006

Getting sappy in my old age

I think I'm scheduled for a midlife crisis now. 45 Is a good age for that, isn't it?

Sorry, but I'm too busy to have a crisis now. It'll have to wait at least until I get the stuff cleaned out of the animal poop... I mean shelter area, get the garden planted, get the apple trees pruned, and plant a bunch fruit trees. (Mary found an ad in the paper -- inexpensive trees in Ludington if we buy enough. Better start digging holes in the front pasture.)

In all seriousness, we have managed to avert the whole midlife crisis issue by starting a whole new life in the country. The whole "Stuck here with my dreams drained away" feeling just doesn't form when you're busy building your dreams.

That's not to say that there aren't enough things to be depressed or anxious about. I just know that they will pass, and life will move on.

One of the best things (here on Earth) about being a Christian is the sure knowledge that all these trials have a reason, and that they end up turning out for the best in the long run -- and we Christians are set for a very long run. Eternal, to be exact.

But after going around and doing this and doing that, I ended up going in three directions at once. Hey, that's not unusual for us ADHD types.

Mary got a horse, so I now have to learn a lot about those critters. I started reading about behavior and training techniques. It's kind of a "duh" experience -- it's all common sense. Horse sense, I guess. It's a lot like the stuff I read in that book about The Farmer's Dog.

I volunteered to sing for the Easter service at church. I haven't been in any kind of a chorus or choir for over a decade. We have all too little time to get ready for this thing -- and I am unfamiliar with most of the songs. Some have some beautiful harmony that blends well and is easy to sing. Other parts are kind of strange and difficult to sight-read. I wish we had a piano so that I could plink it our and get a feel for the intervals. Oh well... I'll get the hang of it again eventually.

This blog is another project that I started. I have been talking about it for a long time, but kept putting it off and feeling unready. I think Mary was beginning to wonder if I was ever going to start. You see, this is not just a 'vanity press' type project. I'm developing my skills and trying to break into professional writing. I'm not sure where this will lead, but it won't go anywhere if I don't start.

But some of the changes aren't things that I am consciously fostering.

But let me back up a bit -- like maybe thirty years. I gave my heart to Christ on the last day of my sophomore year in high school. Before that, I had been a believer, but had later come to the conclusion that God doesn't exist. At least, I tried to convince myself of that. The reasons are complicated, but the effect is that I rejected any support that God was offering. I tried to deflect the pain of rejection (by my peers -- ADHD/Aspergers) by trying to emulate Mr. Spock. The result of that debacle was that my dominant emotions were negative.

But God started to fix that after I got saved. I even figured out what was happening, but old habits are hard to break; and remain hard to break.

But right now, I'm listening to some of the kind of music that tugs at your heart. I'm doing that on purpose and really enjoying the music. After I post this, I'll go through some web comics. The ones I like best are the ones with likable characters and situations where they develop and grow. This is quite a change from the hard science fiction that was the only fiction that I read. I still like hard SF, but I also look for more character development.

So I guess I'm getting sappy in my old age. I love it, though.

Now, if I didn't manage to gag everyone with all of this (maybe I shouldn't write when I'm tired), I'll go on to some other subjects. A little bit of hard, nerdy technology will balance things out nicely.

Just to continue with the sappy theme, today's gratuitous pictures of the day are titled "The many moods of motherhood".


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm still enjoying your blog. It's always nice "meeting" other Christians. John Lyons is a Christian horse trailer. He has written several books and gives seminars around the country which include a Sunday service. You can probably find his books at Amazon, or possibly at your local library. Good luck with that horse. We own three of them and ride frequently in the spring/summer/fall. Respect them...they can kill you.

Chris in central NY

8:37 PM  
Blogger Nerd in the Country said...

We almost ended up living in the Albany area a few years ago. I intervied with Bechtel for an engineering job. I would have been helping to design a device that tests the control systems of submarine nuclear reactors by simulating the reactor hardware. It would have been a fun job and a great place to live, but I certainly don't regret living closer to my family. My parents will be retiring and moving up here soon.

8:58 AM  

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