Modified story

Most people thought that the original version of this story was funny, but a few didn't like the part about the duck a l'orange. Just for fun, I modified the story. You can guess who prompted the change.


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The Happy Dirty Ducks get a Bath


Once upon a time, there were four eggs. Those eggs were sitting in an incubator in a big hatchery.

After sitting in the hot, humid incubator for a long time, the eggs started to rock and peep. They would rock and rock, then they would stop for a while because they were tired.

But soon, they were rocking again. The little eggs started to crack. Then, a little beak appeared on one egg. There was a bump on the top of the beak. This is called the egg tooth, and it helps the little duckling get out of his egg.

Little beaks appeared on the other eggs, too. They rocked and struggled and struggled and rocked and went peep! peep! peep!

Finally, the little ducklings broke out of their eggs and flopped down on the wire screen of the incubator. The little yellow ducklings were wet and exhausted.

After a little while, they dried out. Then, a huge monster grabbed them and put them into a dark box with a bunch of other ducks.

They rode for a long, long time, until finally, another monster opened the top of the box and put them all into a big tub at the farm store.

In that big tub, they ate and drank, but couldn't swim in the water. They wanted to swim, but the best they could do is get water all over the place. The dirty ducks worked really hard to get water all over the place. When the silly monsters took out all their nice, soggy wood chips and put in yucky dry ones, the dirty little ducks pooped on them and splashed more water.

Soon, nice farmer Laura came by with her three boys. The three boys said "Hey Mom! I want a duckling!"

Nice farmer Laura said "Sure! Peking ducks lay really good eggs."

So the four dirty little ducks were stuffed into another dark box for a long, long time.

Then nice farmer Laura opened up the box and put the ducks into a little red tub. He had the same yucky dry wood chips on the floor, and a big warm bright lamp.

But the little ducks grew, and got too big for the tub.

So, nice farmer Laura put them in a big gray tub. It had more of the yucky dry wood chips in it. The dirty little ducks tried and tried to splash water on the dry wood shavings, but nice farmer Laura had put the duck waterer in a bowl on a strainer, so the dirty little ducks couldn't do much more than splash water into the bottom of the bowl, where they couldn't get at it.

Nice farmer Laura had to keep filling the duck waterer. She would fill it, and the dirty little ducks would splash it all into the dish, then be out of water. After a while, they would start to complain. When nice farmer Laura talked to them, they started peeping excitedly because they were sure that she was going to give them more water to splash and maybe even drink.

But most of it still ended up in the bottom of the dish.

Then the ducks got bigger and stronger, so they could splash the water farther. They also ate more food and made more poop. Soon, nice farmer Laura was putting down new wood shavings every day.

Then, it got a little warmer outside. Nice farmer Laura took some ducks outside to see if they liked it. Nice farmer Laura wants the ducks to be happy because happy ducks lay better eggs.

The dirty little ducks followed nice farmer Laura because they didn't know what else to do. They followed her right into the hen house, complaining all the way. This upset the whole hen house. Buck buck buckACK! the hens yelled.

Finally, nice farmer Laura gathered the chickens' eggs and lead the dirty little ducks back to the house. She put them back in their soggy little tub, and gave them food and water. This made them happy. Happy ducks lay better eggs.

Later, nice farmer Laura dug a hole in the rabbit pen and put the top of his boys' plastic sandbox in the hole. She filled the hole up with water. Then, she got the dirty little ducks and put them in the pen.

As soon as one of them saw the water, they all ran to it as fast as they could. They hopped into the cold water and went peep! peep! peep!

But these were happy peeps.

Nice farmer Laura wanted to make sure the ducks could get out of the water, so she chased them. They complained at her and got out. But, when she walked away, the ducks went back to the water. They didn't even bother with the dish of food that nice farmer Laura had left for them.

"These dirty little ducks are happy," said nice farmer Laura. "That is good, because they'll lay better eggs when they're happy."


The End



The gratuitous picture of the day is one that I shot when we were living at the cottage. I had a hard time finding a good one out of that batch because, it would seem, there is a light leak in the old camera that I'm using. I really like the old cameras, so I guess I'll have to fix the light leak. It shouldn't be that difficult.

(And no, I don't plan on using duct tape!)